A Joke Gone Too Far
by shana2
Summary: Title is self-explanatory. Lily and James pull a prank that backfires.
1. Ready for it

[A/N if and when you ever read this, don't connect it to any of the other stories I have ever written, L/J or Harry or anything. please. it just sort of popped into my head one day and I typed it because I was sitting in front of my computer. I don't even know my opinion about this story, but I'd like to know yours. hint, hint.]

Lily stepped out of the stairwell, looking around for any passersby. The coast was clear. She and James stepped into the common room, the disheveled beings they had made themselves look like.

"Okay," James whispered into Lily's ear. "This is the plan: we lay on that couch over there and pretend that we're sleeping, really listening to what the others say while they think we're together." He suddenly shook, as if a chill went through his body. He continued. "We can put a stillness charm on ourselves or something. And if I live through this, I just have to let you know that you'll die, thanks to me."

"Unless I kill you first. Okay, I guess it's a half decent plan, even if I have to be laying on top of you. Ugh, that's just gross."

"Ditto. Did you bring the blanket?"

"Is there any reason I wouldn't?"

"Who said no?" Lily ignored him.

They made their way to the couch near the fire, Lily dragging a huge throw blanket behind her. James lay down on the couch. Lily spread the throw over James's body [so she wouldn't have to actually touch any part of him] and lay over him. 

"_Sailavee_," James muttered. Their eyes closed, but they could still see. [A/N say-la-vee; cest la vie! Okay, I don't know how to spell it…]

"What the hell?" Lily said, turning towards him.

"Closed eye-seeing charm. Used to use it when I played Blind-Man's Bluff."

"Crazy person. You ready? Okay, s_ilencio_," Lily whispered, and the two became still as they waited for people to show up. But Lily didn't know that her little charm would change in fifteen minutes.

* * * * * * * *

About five minutes later, the other Gryffindor seventh years appeared in the common room. They noticed James and lily and immediately burst into gales of laughter. 

They'll die right after Lily, James thought.

They're gone as soon as I'm through with James, Lily thought. [A/N to make this easier to understand and because I'm too lazy to type 'Lily thought' and 'James thought', Lily will think in green and James in blue.]

Someone had run upstairs and brought down a camera. Sirius was now taking pictures amid fits of laughter.

If only I had my wand with me.

Sirius is going to die first. No magic needed. [A/N batteries not included J]

"Wait, wait!" Sirius gasped, putting down the camera. "How do we know this isn't a trick?"

"Oh, come on!" exclaimed Katrina, or Kat, Bell [Katie Bell's mom?]. "We knew they would get together someday."

"Yeah," everyone agreed.

Suddenly, Lily's arm moved. Eight people stood watching.

What? That wasn't supposed to happen; I did the charm perfectly!

What? Something went wrong here. Maybe Lily needs to work on her charms.

Kat sighed. "Good," Sirius said, "at least they didn't wake."

"Exactly," someone else agreed.

James tried to pull away from Lily. He was stuck. Then how did Lily move?

"Okay, I'm getting bored," Remus Lupin voiced.

"Me, too," said Jessica Parker. [not Sarah Jessica Parker]

"Let's go get something to eat," Sirius suggested. "You coming, Kat?"

"You guys go, I'm gonna go upstairs for a second."

* * * * * * * *

The second became rather long. Finally, a few minutes later, Kat came back down to the common room and sat in an armchair. Every few seconds, she would glance at Lily and James and start giggling.

Watch out, Kat.

If Lily doesn't get you, I will.

A few more minutes passed. The rest of the seventh years came back from the kitchens laughing and talking loudly as they climbed through the entrance hole.

"Look, they're still there!" Sirius exclaimed. Everyone laughed quietly so as not to wake them.

If I could move, Lily would be on the floor and Sirius's neck would be in my fist.

Kat whispered, "I've been here all the while. They're staying still; not moving _at all_. Are they under a stillness charm?"

"Maybe, I mean, they're smart enough," Remus countered.

"Yeah, but they probably aren't. Don't lie, but you knew they would get together soon"

"I have to agree."

What is with the together business? They're so thick they don't realize that this is a trick!

Jeez, we are not together. Why are they so obsessed with this thought?

"This could be a trick," Jessica said doubtfully.

"It isn't," Kat assured her.

Don't be so sure.

Suddenly, James's arm moved. It went around Lily's waist. Everyone watched, Lily and James in horror.

What's going on?

What's happening Lily? Oh great, she can't hear me.

Lily's body snuggled closer to James. James's arm tightened. The girls in the common room squealed.

"Omigosh! Okay, I have to leave or I'm gonna burst out laughing." Kat rushed from the room, followed by the other three girls. Sirius, Remus, and the other two boys, however, stayed rooted to their spots, jaws falling open.

Lily felt herself drifting off to sleep.

No, not now! I have to keep…

James felt drowsier than ever.

Must stay awake. Keep eyes open…

* * * * * * * *

[A/N wow. I just can't believe it. This started as a story-I-was-writing-because-I-was-bored, but it's turning into a full-fledged fic. I can't believe it. okay, I know I'm acting lax, but I want at least 10 reviews before I post the next chapter. Heck, I haven't even written it yet!]


	2. Awaken

A Joke Gone Too Far

Chapter 2.

Lily woke hours later. She found herself snuggled deep in James's chest, his arm wrapped around her. And, for some strange unknown reason, she just smiled and fell back asleep.

He's a half decent pillow, I'd have to say. It's kind of nice.

James woke up a few minutes after Lily had gone back to sleep. He realized his position and immediately tried to pull apart. But then he caught himself. 

I fell asleep.

Now I don't know what the others said about me and Lily.

But, you know, it's kind of nice having Lily right here. With me. Idiot that she is.

She can be cute if I really imagine. And it takes less energy now than it did just a few hours ago.

He fell back to sleep, his thoughts disappearing and his subconscious flying into the time known as dreaming.

* * *

Sirius and Remus reappeared in the common room less than fifteen minutes later. They looked at each other.

"Can two people really sleep that long?" Remus asked.

Sirius looked at him. "Correction. The question is: can two enemies sleep that long in each other's arms?" He looked back at the two on the couch.

"This is getting really boring." Remus started towards the stairs.

"Wait." Sirius started walking towards the sleeping James and Lily. Remus followed, intrigued.

Sirius prodded James in the shoulder with his fist. James stirred.

"Good morning, Harry," he said sleepily.

"Harry?" Remus mouthed. Sirius shrugged and proceeded to ask James some questions.

"So, how's your teddy bear, James?"

"Really cuddly." He squeezed Lily into a one-armed hug. Remus and Sirius sniggered.

"I love it. Where'd you get it?"

"It's really Harry's.I like it, though; it's much more huggable than _some_ things."

"Like what, spiders?"

"Definitely."

"Really."

"Yes."

"That red hair on her is really befitting, James. It really matches your black."

"Her? This bear is a she?"

"Yeah."

James woke with a start and sat up. "What is _she_ doing in my _lap_?"

Remus and Sirius looked at each other and burst out laughing.

* * *

**A/N** _[drum roll please] [trumpet fanfare]_ Here it is! The long awaited second chapter! I know all you people have been waiting forever for this, and now you have it. But, everything in life comes with a price. I think I just made that up. Anyway, the third chapter will be up in a few days. Today, meaning the day I wrote this, I had an audition for a state honors orchestra. Yikes! Well, results don't come till June 1st… and my friend, the best girl in the school orchestra, second best in the whole school orchestra, tried out yesterday. on the bus yesterday, we agreed that we would never make the honors orch. But we tried. Who cares. And, sometime in may, I'm trying out for the local youth symphony. [myso] am I busy enough? The thing that sucked is that on Friday, yesterday, was the school lock-in, and I had to miss it because of my stupid audition! I was so mad at my dad when he said I couldn't go. Well, now you know the story of my life. oh yeah, don't forget to review!

_Disclaimer…_ as you all know, I am the lovely, the talented, the j.k.rowling. Yeah, I wish. Actually, I'm shana, and I own no one that sounds familiar. Ok?


	3. Truth comes out

Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

Lily woke at the sound of a shout and laughter.

She jumped off the couch before she even realized what she was doing.

"Is there a reason for this, James Potter?" she exclaimed. She glared at the rolling Sirius and Remus, and they immediately stopped laughing.

"Well…uh, I was, kind of—"

"What?What were you kind of doing?"

"I was kinda hoping that you knew?"

"Me? Know why I was _cuddling_ with my absolute enemy? Are you more out of your mind than I thought you were?" Apparently so.

"Hey, not my fault if it was your idea to cuddle. I don't exactly like girls smelling my chest." Low, James, extreme low. Must've gotten her below the belt. No, don't think of that…

That was low. But you, the reader already must have realized that. What? You didn't? Are you more out of your mind than Lily thought James was? Never mind, back to the story.

Lily gaped at James. What an asshole. He is _so_ going down. "I don't think they'd want to, James. You're an ugly prat as it is."

"And you aren't?"

"Nope. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I (unlike _some_ people) actually have friends."

"What? You bitch!" Lower, James. You're losing control of the fight. "I have Moon—I mean Remus and Sirius and lots of other people."

"Whatever you say, Mr. Popularity."

"Whatever _you_ say, Miss I'm-a-freaking-retard."

Lily's glare grew until she was squinting to see. He is going lower than I thought. "I oughta slap you right now."

"I'm waiting." Actually, I'm trying to relax my cheeks and screaming for you not to.

"Nah, I better not. I'll get germs all over my hand."

"Idiot."

"What did you say?"

"I said—Hey!" James suddenly said. "I know now!" But is it the real truth? I don't know if _I_ should believe it, and I'm proposing it!

"And you didn't know before?" She smirked.

"No. But, anyway, here it is: We must have been trying to play a trick on the fantastic idiots."

"Why would I agree to play a trick on _them_? A trick like _this_? With _you_?" Lily was seething, and turning a blotchy red at the same time. What an idiotic idea! But it could be true. Then why wouldn't I remember it? but, Lily hadn't known that her charm had been changed by the Ministry of Magic. And you, the reader, now know the circumstances. [A/N 4 u slow ones, it turned into a weird love charm-ish thing]

Lily continued glaring. If he's telling the truth I might as well believe it. "You'd better be serious, Potter."

"I'm not serious, he's Sirius." James pointed.

Lily humphed. "Very funny. You're a stand-up."

And with that, she stomped out of the common room and up to her dorm room.

* * *

A/N super short chap, I know. But, the next chap is up right…about…now! so, click 'Next chapter: Chapter 4' or whatever it says to do.

Had to add the serious/Sirius thing. my reading teacher would be proud [hey, I h8 her] because we just finished our unit on figures of speech. I am a pun master. Which is also known as sarcasm.

Someone had a question about the stuff about Harry in the last chapter. Was it Kelzery? I think so. Well, it was sort of a foreshadowing for stuff that will happen later. I had to throw in the teddy bear thing; I thought it was hilarious. And, I stole a teddy bear from my sister once when she was like two. It was really cute. Until she spilled milk on him four years later.


	4. Thinking

Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

Lily paced her dorm room.

He's telling the truth. I know he is.

_Then why can't you remember it?_ [A/N the nasty voice inside everyone's head who contradicts everything you think.]

Just because, okay?

_Uh-huh, I'm sure._

Whatever. It's really fuzzy, but I think I remember now.

_Then what did you do?_

I'm trying to think!

She sat on the edge of her bed and shut her eyes hard.

_This had better be good._

I told you to shut up.

_Whatever you say, Queen of the Flowers._

Shut it. Okay, I remember that it was my idea—don't say anything!—and James put this charm on to close our eyes but still be able to see. And I put the stillness charm on us. and then I remember a bunch of the others coming in and seeing us. 

_Funny, I remember you wanting to kill Sirius. _

Only if James didn't do it first! 

_So, you're thinking about Jamsie again, aren'tcha? _

No, you are. 

_Sorry, hon. You are. I'm sort of the same as you._

Yeah. Whatever. I'm turning schizophrenic.

_Sorry if you are._

Will you shut it yet?

_Fine. I'm leaving you now, your majesty._

Oh great. That voice was right. I am thinking about James too much again.

But I have to say: it was nice to sleep with him for that short while.

No, it wasn't! Wait, it was. Oh great. I am turning schizophrenic.

She lay back on her bed and felt like crying. Or screaming. Just something to get her mind of James Potter.

* * *

Sirius and Remus were watching James bury his face in his hands. He said something, but it came out muffled.

"Repeat please, lover boy," Sirius said.

"Don't call me that. And I said, 'Do you guys really think we were playing a trick on you'?"

"Yeah."

"It crossed my mind many moments, but I didn't know if it was the truth," Remus put in.

"Well, I don't happen to know either. That's sort of why I'm asking you two guys."

"Why don't you tell us what you do remember, and we can try to fill in the potholes," Remus suggested.

"Okay, I guess. Well, I remember putting a charm on myself that made me able to see but have my eyes closed. And then I remember a stillness charm. And then I remember falling asleep and waking up when you guys said something about red hair."

Wasn't there some more? Like when you woke up the first time, you thought Lily was pretty. And you wanted to kill Sirius.

"Only if Lily didn't first."

"Didn't what?" Sirius asked.

"Who did what?" James replied.

"You just said 'only if Lily didn't first' and I want to know what she does."

"I didn't say that out loud." James blushed lightly.

"Uh, sorry, Jamsie-boy. You did too say it out loud," Sirius informed.

"Note the blush," Remus murmured to Sirius. Sirius grinned.

"So, James, finally fell for the famous Lily Evans?"

"I did not!" James replied indignantly.

"You did too. And you're blushing again."

James, who had not been blushing, blushed. It seems that Sirius's attempt at reverse psychology worked.

"I'm leaving."

He walked, not stomped, up to his dorm room.

* * *

A/N make sense? I have to write the 5th chap still. Didn't eves start it. I have to do a parade of nations float for Greece made out of a shoebox. I'm putting Mt. Olympus and Olympic stuff and the flag. Stupid, I know. Well, even though Lily is turning schizophrenic and they are both falling for each other, review!

Hey all. Sorry 4 the confusion; I 4got that I finished 2 chapters the other day and not just one. Well, this one's up now, so chill. C ya.


	5. Bathroom chat

A Joke Gone Too Far

Chapter 5.

A while later, Lily got sick of pacing her dorm room. She wanted to do something about what had happened. She knew that she was right, and Sirius was definitely wrong. She decided to go speak to James, and judging by the slam she had heard James had gone up to his own dorm room.

She charmed herself to go through the wall and into James's dorm room. She didn't find him there, but dimly heard a shower running. She went up to the door to the bathroom and slammed it with the side of her fist. 

"Go away Sirius."

"James, it's me."

The shower quieted. "What? Lily?"

"Who were you expecting?"

"Nobody. What are you doing in my bathroom?"

"I'm not in the bathroom, I'm outside the bathroom."

"What?"

"Are you deaf? I said—"

"No, the shower is too loud. Come in and sit on…sit on the sinks or something."

Lily rolled her eyes at the originality. But she still gingerly opened the door and sat on the area between the sinks—not before wiping it clean with the sleeve of her long-sleeve shirt. She didn't know which shower James was in, all of the doors were closed and steam seemed to be coming out of all of them.

"What did you want to tell me again?" James asked.

"I didn't want to tell you anything. I wanted to ask you if you believe Sirius."

"Believe him about what?"

"That we weren't playing a trick on them?"

"Of course not! I learned not to believe him years ago."

"Really. Am I supposed to care?"

"I don't care if you don't care."

"I don't care if you don't care that I don't care."

"I don't care if—I'm lost. Is that all?"

"No. But still, don't you have that nagging feeling inside you? The one that keeps telling you that Sirius might be right for the one time in his life. I don't know if you feel it, but I keep wondering if he _is_ right. I mean, I would totally be surprised and a little angry. I don't know what happened with the charms, I thought you were half decent at that sort of stuff. Now, about _my_ charm I am a bit mad that it didn't work. After all, I have the highest charms grade and—"

"Do you always talk this much?"

"Are you always so quiet?" Me? Talk?

"Do you always ask so many questions?"

"Do you always talk to people while you take a shower?" Do I ask that many questions?

"Okay, okay. Make your point." God she can get annoying sometimes.

"So, do you have that nagging feeling inside you?"

No-yes-no-"Yes, I do I guess."

"So I'm not alone!"

"Of course not, you big dolt. Why do you think we're talking right now?"

"Why do you have to keep insulting me? It's really annoying."

"And you're not? You have answered every single question I have asked with another question."

"So? It's a matter of reverse psychology."

"Oh yeah? Which matter?"

"Which matter? What kind of question is that?" She jumped down from her perch faced the showers, hands on her hips.

"The kind of question a normal person asks, thank you very much!" He pushed open the door and glared at her.

"Since when were you—" she suddenly choked, and her eyes bugged out. Then, she started laughing.

Which was about when he realized he hadn't put a towel around himself. He pulled the one next to him around his waist and added, "That never happened," through gritted teeth.

"What are you talking about? Of course it did! Wait till I tell—"

James went up to her and grabbed both of her shoulders. He shook her as he said, "No it didn't."

"Yes it did!"

"Just for—" James stopped. Someone or something pushed the two together and they found themselves kissing each other. And they couldn't break apart, even though there was nothing holding them like that. It was choice.

Just then, Sirius walked into the bathroom searching for James. He found the duo kissing and shouted for the others to come to the bathroom. By the time they showed up, the twosome was making out right there in the bathroom. The audience caught a bit of the show—until someone hexed the door shut.

And from then on, James and Lily realized that they really did have feelings for each other that weren't feelings of intense hate. They loved each other.


End file.
